Almost done

It's been 3 weeks and I'm starting to feel a little more like myself. Christmas was pretty exhausting! It was however nice to get out and have some Christmas drinks! I guess there really isn't anything more to write about until I get my expanders out in March! I am looking forward to having a little more of a shape to my breast instead of big round rocks! We will be using the cohesive gel implant. Unlike a saline or silicone, these are made with the consistancy of a gummy bear. It also has more of a tear drop shape not round like normal implants. Let's face it, I need all the natural look I can get! Next week is my first time back to work which will be almost 4 weeks after. I feel pretty good about going back and seeing all my clients! I honestly feel they are just like my friends and family, so I'm excited to see them! The expanders and the skin around my breasts feel kind of painful still. I'm sure that's to be expected though. I have been going out by myself a little and tonight I made tacos for dinner almost all by myself! I couldn't drain the meat, but I did everything else! I shouldn't be excited about this because now it means I have to cook all the time again! I do feel the more I do I get little zings or mini shocks in my breasts. Its not painful. It just makes you jump or twitch a little. The nerves were cut and/or moved around during surgery so I'm sure there's a lot more healing that needs to be done. I am still taking some pain pills at night because of all the activity I do during the day but I don't take anything throughout the day. I was taking 2 Percocet and would feel pretty out of it but now I don't feel much when I take them.
I am starting to feel more comfortable with the way I look. I am thrilled that the surgeons were able to cut under my breast (inframmary fold incision) and I have no scars on my breasts! I didn't even know that was an option at first, I was shocked! I really was SO excited about that! It's amazing, I was expecting for it to look aweful and he made it look pretty darn normal. Even with the expanders in I feel ok with the way things are. I was expecting the worst and really don't have much to complain about. You can definitely tell it's not a natural breast but I knew that going into this. Also, like I mentioned before I don't have any feeling in either of my breasts. I'll get used to that but it has been kind of a hard thing to deal with. I mean let's be real, it's nice to have some feeling there when you want to do some "adult activities".
I was asked if I would do it all over again. Hell yes I would! Everything I went through is all worth it in my eyes. I had help and a tremendous amount of love and support. One thing I will never forget through all of this was Brent asking me if I was sure I didn't want him to stay the night in the hospital with me. I said yes, He kissed me goodnight and walked out. He walked right back in, kissed my forehead, looked at me and said "I am so proud of you". That moment made everything worth it. I will never, ever forget that! Everything I was worried about was really for nothing. My sex life, it's still great! Hasn't skipped a beat. When he said he didn't care what it would look like, he really didn't care. The scars, no big deal. The pain, it won't last forever. The refrigerator, I had PLENTY of food. I never went hungry. Can you tell I love to eat!?
My doctor would like me to get a prevenative hysterectomy in 5 years. We discussed taking out my fallopian tubes some time within the next year. There is a lot of research showing that is a good way to prevent ovarian cancer along with birth control that reduces your risk by up to 50%. I am going to try to hold off on the hysterectomy until I'm 40 since it will put me into menopause the day of surgery. I will be getting my tubes out this year, continue on birth control and get ultrasounds and blood work every 6 months until the hysterectomy. I'm doing everything I can! One good thing is when I decide to get my hysterectomy, I will be able to take hormone replacement if needed. Hormones can increase estrogen which could possibly cause breast cancer some believe. With the high risk I have they don't want to chance it. I'd like the option to be able to take something if I need it!
I feel it is totally normal to worry and be anxious about surgery. It's the unknown of everything that is hard to deal with. I personally think it really is so worth it for some piece of mind. I am really hoping that at least one person that is going through this will read this and feel a little bit more comfortable and more at ease making a decision to do a prevenative mastectomy. If so, my job is done and I feel complete! I feel very confidant and proud of my decision. I would do it 100 times over again.