Almost done

It's been 3 weeks and I'm starting to feel a little more like myself. Christmas was pretty exhausting! It was however nice to get out and have some Christmas drinks! I guess there really isn't anything more to write about until I get my expanders out in March! I am looking forward to having a little more of a shape to my breast instead of big round rocks! We will be using the cohesive gel implant. Unlike a saline or silicone, these are made with the consistancy of a gummy bear. It also has more of a tear drop shape not round like normal implants. Let's face it, I need all the natural look I can get! Next week is my first time back to work which will be almost 4 weeks after. I feel pretty good about going back and seeing all my clients! I honestly feel they are just like my friends and family, so I'm excited to see them! The expanders and the skin around my breasts feel kind of painful still. I'm sure that's to be expected though. I have been going out by myself a little and tonight I made tacos for dinner almost all by myself! I couldn't drain the meat, but I did everything else! I shouldn't be excited about this because now it means I have to cook all the time again! I do feel the more I do I get little zings or mini shocks in my breasts. Its not painful. It just makes you jump or twitch a little. The nerves were cut and/or moved around during surgery so I'm sure there's a lot more healing that needs to be done. I am still taking some pain pills at night because of all the activity I do during the day but I don't take anything throughout the day. I was taking 2 Percocet and would feel pretty out of it but now I don't feel much when I take them.
I am starting to feel more comfortable with the way I look. I am thrilled that the surgeons were able to cut under my breast (inframmary fold incision) and I have no scars on my breasts! I didn't even know that was an option at first, I was shocked! I really was SO excited about that! It's amazing, I was expecting for it to look aweful and he made it look pretty darn normal. Even with the expanders in I feel ok with the way things are. I was expecting the worst and really don't have much to complain about. You can definitely tell it's not a natural breast but I knew that going into this. Also, like I mentioned before I don't have any feeling in either of my breasts. I'll get used to that but it has been kind of a hard thing to deal with. I mean let's be real, it's nice to have some feeling there when you want to do some "adult activities".
I was asked if I would do it all over again. Hell yes I would! Everything I went through is all worth it in my eyes. I had help and a tremendous amount of love and support. One thing I will never forget through all of this was Brent asking me if I was sure I didn't want him to stay the night in the hospital with me. I said yes, He kissed me goodnight and walked out. He walked right back in, kissed my forehead, looked at me and said "I am so proud of you". That moment made everything worth it. I will never, ever forget that! Everything I was worried about was really for nothing. My sex life, it's still great! Hasn't skipped a beat. When he said he didn't care what it would look like, he really didn't care. The scars, no big deal. The pain, it won't last forever. The refrigerator, I had PLENTY of food. I never went hungry. Can you tell I love to eat!?
My doctor would like me to get a prevenative hysterectomy in 5 years. We discussed taking out my fallopian tubes some time within the next year. There is a lot of research showing that is a good way to prevent ovarian cancer along with birth control that reduces your risk by up to 50%. I am going to try to hold off on the hysterectomy until I'm 40 since it will put me into menopause the day of surgery. I will be getting my tubes out this year, continue on birth control and get ultrasounds and blood work every 6 months until the hysterectomy. I'm doing everything I can! One good thing is when I decide to get my hysterectomy, I will be able to take hormone replacement if needed. Hormones can increase estrogen which could possibly cause breast cancer some believe. With the high risk I have they don't want to chance it. I'd like the option to be able to take something if I need it!
I feel it is totally normal to worry and be anxious about surgery. It's the unknown of everything that is hard to deal with. I personally think it really is so worth it for some piece of mind. I am really hoping that at least one person that is going through this will read this and feel a little bit more comfortable and more at ease making a decision to do a prevenative mastectomy. If so, my job is done and I feel complete! I feel very confidant and proud of my decision. I would do it 100 times over again.

My Super Cute Male Nurse

I really don't know where to begin with this guy. He has been my everything since we met. He was one of the #1 reasons I did this. When I told him I was positive for the gene, he gave me the biggest hug ever and said "well let's do what we gotta do! It'll all be good, you know I'm here for you". Well remember those ugly crys? Yep, right then and there they started (He was the lucky one that got to deal with those) Any time I would start crying, I would get a hug, a hand hold, a kiss on the forehead, always reminding me that it'll all be fine. I still remember over a year and a half ago I met with the surgeon for the first time. He took off work to go and be my support. On the way there he reached out his hand and put it into my lap to hold my hand. Ugh, instant tears!! He does this a lot but for some reason that day it got me. I kind of felt like I was being ridiculous for crying but this was a big deal for me and he knew that. He went to every appointment with me. EVERY SINGLE ONE! No matter if he had to take off work, he made sure he knew everything that was going on. Leading up to the surgery he was out of his norm. Usually it's "what did you buy now? You don't need anymore clothes". A week before he asked, "do you have enough zip ups, do you have enough bras, what else do you need to get? Hmm.. I thought, what else have I been wanting? Haha just kidding. He was absolutely AMAZING after surgery. For a couple days I needed help with everything. Putting my shirt on, my socks on, my bra hooked and re-dressed with padding. I couldn't even get my underwear and pants up. I even needed help sitting up. He would give my back a shove up and then help me get my butt up (he said that was his favorite part) I'm sure I was lookin' real sexy!
He really did it all! He was so helpful and quick to tell me "Stop! I got it, you shouldn't be doing that" He stood in the shower with me the first time I was able to shower which by the way felt A-MAZING!!! He helped wash in places I couldn't reach (please note all my dignity is gone from having kids and this surgery) he had to wash my hair for me for a couple weeks. He even gave me a blow dry and straighten after. My own personal hairdresser. I could get used to this!

He was great with my drains. I mean really, who wants to empty blood and body fluid from someone 3 times a day everyday, take it to the toilet to flush it and then clean the cups. Its just a pain! He never once complained about it. He actually took it very serious. I mean serious enough to get down on his knees to measure. Wow! It's just in my nature to not want to ask for help but I didn't really have a choice through all this. I can't tell you how many times I asked him for help and said, sorry! He finally said "quit saying you're sorry! I am chosing to be off work to help you, this is what I want to do". My response. Ok, sorry! I'm such a smartass.

Sleeping is very uncomfortable. The first couple days after you aren't even able to lift your pillow to get it back to where you want it because it is so painful. Every night he tucked me in my recliner just right. A pillow to one side, a blanket on the other, my fan turned on and a blanket on me. Man, what a diva I sound like! The pain pills at first made me itchy so I took a benadryl before bed and it helped me sleep a little bit better. One of my favorites was Brent went to the store to find me new bras after mine had shrunk in the wash. I told him to just look for the biggest bras you can find, they are somewhere in there. Poor guy. He just always kept going, trying to make me smile and never making me feel like I am a burden. That meant a lot because I sure did feel like a burden. MANY TIMES! My first time driving anywhere by myself I felt like I was being interrogated. Are you sure you can drive, what if something is too heavy, what if you can't open the door, wear pants with no button so if you go to the bathroom you don't need to button them back up, can you carry your purse, call me when you get there. Boy oh boy! (I did fine by the way) Well he deserves the world for everything he has done for me. He has always been my greatest fan and supports me 100% in everything I do. I know he will never understand how much everything he did means to me!

The first few days at home

I'm home!! I'm sore.. I'm tired.. I'm hungry..did I mention I'm sore? I knew I was in for a lot when I got home but my Mom and Brent made things pretty darn easy. I didnt have to cook, do dishes, clean the house, I didn't even have to shower.. Now that I look back, that sounds kind of nice! It really does drive you, if you will, bat shit crazy just sitting there with not much to do. I'm a busy body, I don't like to just sit around but I didn't have much of a choice. Most of the first days I was just sleeping. Sleep, eat, take pain meds and sleep again. Every 4 hours I would set an alarm to get up and take pain meds so I could stay ahead of the pain. About 4 days after surgery I just hated feeling so groggy. I tried taking Norco instead of my Percocet which was supposed to not be as strong. That day all I wanted was orange juice. I drank it down and not 5 minutes later, the toilet bowl claimed my sweet OJ. Now let me tell you, chest pain and throwing up is not so nice. It was miserable! I learned those pain pills weren't going to work for me. 5 days after I was ok just taking Motrin during the day and took Percocet before bed. Motrin is supposedly better for pain than tylenol due to the inflammation. I wasn't able to shower for a week. Get out your wet wipes and give yourself a trucker bath! I went through a pack of wipes pretty quickly. I literally was wiping my arms, my legs, my neck, really anything that could be wiped, it was! I had a good friend make a care package for me that had some dry shampoo in there... All I can say, thank the Lord for dry shampoo!!!

I had about 5 days of not washing my hair and I just couldn't handle it anymore. I'm not one to really care too much what I look like but damn, that's a long time! So we made a make shift beauty parlor. My hubs got me a ladder, I crawled up on the counter, they propped me up with pillows (you aren't allowed to lay flat) and I leaned back and had myself a spa night. It really did feel so so good. I could of laid there for an hour. Oops, I forgot to tip you Mom!

My boys took good care of me too. They were very gentle and eager to help if I needed anything! I got a foot rub (for about 10 seconds) very relaxing, and I had my own personal doctor who would take my blood pressure, listen to my heart and for some reason loved to give me shots. I think I got about 30 in one day. Yikes! He was cute though so I didn't mind too much!

Everyday little by little you start to feel better, a little less sore and a little bit more eager to do things for yourself. I learned my lesson quick. A week after I really overdid it. Cleaned the house as well as I could, went to my boys Christmas program and then out to dinner. The next day was a nice reminder of why to not do that again. About a week and a half after surgery I was slowly getting back in the swing of things. Folding laundry was my first task (besides just picking up things here and there). It felt nice to do things for myself but laundry? Really? Can I do something more exciting? 

The amazing people in my life

Like I had mentioned before, my Mom was awesome and came in from Cleveland to help Brent with the kids and I for the first week. It was so nice having help so Brent didn't have to do everything himself. She was a gem! Got us good food, would go to the store for anything we needed, did our laundry, helped with my drains, gave me back scratches, helped to keep things tidy and just helped with whatever was needed. I hope she knows how much that meant to me! I really have the sweetest people in my life. I got so many thoughtful gifts, wonderful meals and cards. I felt so fortunate to have great friends and family. We truly appreciated everyone who took the time out of their lives to come bring us a meal or who came to visit. For about the first week it was hard when people came over because I like to be hospitable, but I really couldn't. I hated just laying there, it made me feel lazy. I know I had a good reason but I couldn't help but feel that way.

I never expected anything and was blown away at people's generosity! I got a couple things delivered to my house that made me smile and one all the way from Florida to make me laugh pretty hard. I'm not gonna lie It hurts to laugh but she knew it was necessary and it was worth it! It was so amazing to receive meals. Brent was so tired and I couldn't do anything. It was so nice to have food to just warm up and eat. I will never forget all the good food people brought over! Like I said, I am so lucky to have so many great people in my life. We are so so blessed. I think I gained 10 pounds!

Expanders and JP Drains

Lets start with the dreaded JP (Jackson Pratt) Drains.

I believe it only makes a difference when the drain is pulled out but a good idea is to check to see what the drain looks like before surgery. This picture with the blue background shows the different shapes in drains. I have heard the drains hurt like a $#!%$# coming out. This was not the case for me. It barely hurt at all. Maybe a 2 on a pain scale of 1-10. The difference is one is shaped like a rectangle, the other in a circle. Well we learned young that a square doesn't fit through a round hole (with no disrespect to any of the doctors that use that type) I'm guessing this is why it hurts so bad getting out. With the circular one it is able to slide right out with no tugging. The tube is placed in the breast while in surgery, with the little hole side placed in the skin to do the draining. The tubing comes from inside the breast out of your side and the bulb hooks onto a beautiful belt around the waist. The point is for the blood and fluid to drain into the bulb and not just build up in the skin or it will create a seroma. The drains need to be emptied 3 times per day and recorded in order for the doctor to see how much you are draining. You'll need someone to do it for you the first week, the velcro on the belt is too much strain on those muscles. My drains in particular, I was told must stay in for 2 weeks at minimum. I got 2 out after 12 days because I was draining so little and the other 2 out 14 days after. These suckers are a pain in the ass! I was lucky enough to have 4 of them. 2 on each side. They are stiched in and mine were covered in tegaderm (which is like a sticky saran wrap) These are very joyous to sleep with. You find yourself getting in a comfy position, you move ever so slightly and HELLO!! Hi, it's me, your drains and I'm here to make sure you can't sleep. While emptying them once, my husband lost hold of it and it fell right down giving that stich a nice little tug! Yeeouch! Poor guy, he felt terrible! The amount of drinage starts to go down as the days go and the color will start to change a little too. Some have been bright red, pink, dark and light brown. I could see some of the tubing in my breast and was amazed when it came out.. There is A LOT of tubing in there! I had to watch them take them out and then look at everything. I'm gross like that! Everything gets easier when the drains come out. You can take a bath, you can shower, the belt isn't itchy and constantly around your waist. Your clothes fit and you don't have to do a tuck and disguise. I felt a new sense of freedom when they came out!

The Expanders..   

 Remember the Bob Seger song "Like a rock"? This should be their theme song. Seriously. It feels like there are boulders in your chest. I have heard they are hard but never would have expected it would be like that. It is the weirdest feeling. These have to stay in for 3 months!? Ahhhh! I tell people it feels like someone taped two 5 pound bowling balls to my chest and sent me on my way. They go up to about my collar bone and out to my hips (not really but it sure feels that way). I have a hard time putting my arms down because they are so big on the side. They are put in the breast to expand the tissue that is left so the implant will fit nicer. With a normal breast augmentation (boob job) the surgeon will make a little pocket in the breast for the implant to sit in. This is surrounded by natural breast tissue so the implant looks like the normal breast. Unlike a breast augmentation, there is only 10% of tissue left in a mastectomy breast (It is impossible to take all the tissue). As you could imagine, the implant doesn't have that nice little pocket of tissue to sit in, so it literally is an implant with a piece of skin over it. Definitely not even close to a boob job. As you go to your appointments, the surgeon will fill the expander slowly until it has reached the desired size. You don't get to choose a size. It has to be similar to what you were before because of the skin. If you put half of what was in there before, you are left with a lot of sagging skin. It is the weirdest feeling ever as they fill the expander! As the saline is going in you are thinking, IT'S GOING TO POP! It won't, but it definitely feels like it will burst if anymore is put in. They will use a magnetic finder to find the little "port" which is that metal looking piece in the expander. They mark where that is, insert a butterfly needle, fill it with however many cc's they are using and viola! Your huge! You leave feeling like your breasts are touching your chin! I felt like Pamela Anderson walking out! It does come with some discomfort after as it's stretching on the inside. I would take some pain pills before you go or right after. Its uncomfortable. I will have a total of 500 cc's in mine, which seems enormous! He did remind me that I don't have the tissue that normal women do so it will need to be bigger. I did start out with a large c cup so he had to put quite a bit in to fill the skin. You definitely get used to the feeling of them in there. I was a side sleeper before. I have to adjust now because I am not able to lay on my side to much but it is all good! They start to feel a little bit more apart of you and not so foreign after a few weeks. 

Woah.. What the $%#&! happened to me!?!

6 hours of surgery later.. I rocked it! Well not really, my doctors and nurses did, I just laid there asleep. They told me I did wake up just chattering away (shocking)! I just wish I knew what I was saying. That's kind of a scary thing to think of, not having any recollection of what you were talking about! Oh well, they have to be used to that. I got back to my room where I had to stay overnight and wow.. I felt like I got hit by a truck. A big huge massive concrete hauling truck. Every little move was uncomfortable. Lucky for me I had to just lay there. My chest felt like a ton of bricks were laying on it. I'm a little claustrophobic and the pressure on my chest was a lot to handle. It felt so tight. It honestly felt like someone had my chest in a vice and was just cranking it. I didn't feel terrible just very sore. I pulled my sheets down to see 4 drain bulbs on a belt around my waist. They were my new tag alongs, there was just no way to get rid of them. At least they are pretty! Ha yeah right! My family all came in after I was brought to my room and I of coarse was hungry. No food from midnight the night before and at this time it was 7 pm. My Dad offered to get me anything I wanted. I wanted pizza from the local bar. I'm a real classy broad! It really is the best.

I got a piece that had a lot of crust which was not a good idea trying to swallow after having a tube in your throat for hours. It was a little hard to get down. Well, let's just sit up and have a drink of water. Woah! Hello nausea! Oookkkk now that delicious pizza is about to come right back up. They laid me down and put a cold rag on my head and neck and I felt a little better. Brent wanted to stay the night with me but I told him I'd rather him go home and get sleep. Thank goodness I did. The nurse was in every couple hours giving me pain meds, taking my blood pressure, temperature. The ladies and gentleman taking care of me were amazing! The anesthesia made me so itchy. Between the discomfort and the itching, there was no sleep in my future. I figured that's all I'll be doing at home, might as well soak up people taking care of me! I "woke up" the next day to my Aunt bringing me a nice treat.

Starbucks and a chocolate chip cookie for breakfast. Ahh... Perfection! It was definitely a chore to try to sit up as you use so much upper body muscle to get up. Every time I had to go to the bathroom I was thinking NOOO! I don't want to have to get up! You move like a snail, you're in pain, dizzy and just out of it, even a 12 foot walk to the bathroom seems to be a lot. My Grams had brought me some comfy jammies and slippers that I couldn't wait to get into. I mean we all know how comfy those hospital gowns are! Late afternoon I was discharged and headed straight to my plastic surgeon so he could make sure everything was looking the way it should. All in all the hospital was a great experience. I am so thankful for that!

The day of surgery

December 9th, a day I will never forget! Oddly enough, that morning I was pretty calm. I really didn't feel nervous or anxious, I just felt like this was what I had to do. My husband (Brent) seemed more nervous than I was! My mom was nice enough to take the week off work to help so she and my husband took me to the hospital. On the way Brent kept looking back at me. I'm still here, don't worry! I could tell the closer we got he was getting a little more anxious. They took me back to get me ready. A beautiful gown was draped over a bed of nice linens, and a pair of soft luxurious socks were awaiting me. My dream world got interrupted by "ok, take everything off, all of it. I'll be back in." Well nice to meet you too! Then I thought, oh shit! here we go... This is real! The nurse came back in and it was time! They started an IV in my hand but it ended up in my forearm. I got all my hook up's necessary, talked to my doctor, anesthesiologist and my OR nurse. Then I got the go ahead with the versed. The "sleepy juice" got me quick and I don't remember anything after being wheeled back into the operating room.
A couple tips before surgery. Go shopping! You'll need a lot of comfy zip ups/ button ups. That's your wardrobe for a couple weeks. This will only happen once for gosh sakes, spoil yourself a little! I got a huge amazingly soft blanket, new granny panties (ones that were bigger and wouldn't ride up my butt) some comfy socks, a handful of bras, a lot of open front sweaters and zip ups and a couple other things that had nothing to do with the surgery but I felt like I needed. Hey, I'm going through a lot here! Get your underarms waxed. You won't be able to reach those puppies for awhile. The waxing at least makes the hair growth come in a little slower and softer. Also it's not as itchy growing back in. Stock up on snacks. Taking strong pain pills every couple hours, you need to put food in that belly! I am a sugar freak and instead of a healthy snack, it's time to take a pill, ok I'll eat a rice krispie treat, fruit roll ups a snicker bar. Probably not the best for you but oh well, it tasted good. Straws are very convenient. I've never been one to drink from straws but it's hard to lift your glass over and over so the straw makes it a little easier. Front close sports bras. I got a nice one from my doctor but you'll want more. Get them a little bigger as the drains will feel pinched if they are too tight. I looked everywhere and got a few different types. My favorite ended up being the cheapest one from of all places, Wal-Mart. It was about $6. It hooks up the front and has a nice spandex feel so the seems were not bulky and irritating. A recliner is a life saver. We didn't have one before the surgery. We went to buy one and Brent said you'll probably want all matching some day so just get the whole set. WHHHAAAATT? Are you serious? I think he might have been feeling sorry for me. Well shoot, I'm not going to say no! We went from no recliners to 5! Really the only way you can sleep comfortably for awhile is tilted up. Last but not least, good support! It's very hard after surgery. You're very sore, emotional, tired and frustrated. Just having great family and friends can make you feel so much better!

Saying Ta-Ta to my TaTa's!

My best piece of advice to anyone getting ready to go through this, throw a party! No need being down and sad about it.. Celebrate it! It is after all a decision you made. My close girlfriends came over (minus a couple that couldn't make it) we had a lip synce battle, pizza party and way more than enough wine, whiskey and beer! Getting into the wee hours of the morning we decided it was only right to indulge in a dance party. At this point our stomaches hurt so bad from laughing so hard. 30 year old women jumping around the living room singing their hearts out. Then it was time we said goodbye. With enough whiskey for an army in me, I lifted my shirt up and danced around like there was no tomorrow! This led to a good laugh, followed by the drunken cry. Every one of us were balling and hugging. As good friends would do, they were taking turns telling me how brave I was, how proud they are of me, how they would all be there for me through all of this. All things that were so amazing to hear. While we are all wiping our tears we hear the song playing "This is gonna be the best day of my life" Yep, you guessed it.. More tears! I woke up the next day, not feeling great physically (I was hurting pretty bad) but emotionally, I had the best feeling ever. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Right then I realized this is why I'm doing it. For more moments like that! It was definitely one of the best nights I have ever had. Never underestimate the power of friends. They will get you through the best and the worst times of your life. I will NEVER forget this. It was just what I needed. These girls are my rocks!!
2 days before surgery my Dad and Step Mom came to wish me luck. She gave me a bracelet that had a wonderful message with it! My Dad, he came with 2 shot glasses in one hand and Jack Daniels single barrel (the good stuff) in the other. Well here's to surgery going well!

The weeks of the ugly cry

Ah... The good 'ol ugly cry face. This was me every time I drank too much. It takes a lot for me to cry but I would get to thinking what is it going to feel like? What would it look like? What is my husband going to think? How bad is this going to hurt? So many thoughts ran through my head as I was thinking of having my mastectomy. It really was a very emotional decision. Ugly cry #1, There will be no feeling left in your breasts. Ummm? Excuse me? So your saying my sex life will be a little less exciting right!? Ok. Cry it out. Ugly cry #2, there will be scars all over from opening the breast to take out the tissue, and then from the drain tubes coming out. Get your shit together Morgan, that's not that bad. I mean come on who sees your boobs? Oh well, go ahead and cry it out again. Ugly cry #3, I can't open the refrigerator for a couple weeks!? How am I going to eat!? I am going to starve! Wow you are ridiculous but whatever, cry again. I had to keep remembering why I am doing this. Yeah, it's going to look different! Yep, it definitely is going to hurt! My husband, eh, he'll get used to 'em! The refrigerator, I'll have plenty of help and there's food elsewhere. I'm doing this to prevent cancer! That is the main goal and focus. In the grand scheme of things, none of that matters at all! A few months of discomfort for a lifetime of piece of mind. I'll take that anyday! One of the worse things to hear is "Well at least you'll get new boobs". It is NOT a breast augmentation. Yes you are getting new boobs but they are not functional nor look like a boob job. I read some things on the internet before surgery that were crazy! I'm someone who doesn't care too much what people think but I also don't really care to hear people's negative opinons. No one knows unless it's happening to them. There are many people that think it is a very drastic decision. Well people get surgery to make themselves look different all the time for pleasure. I'm doing this for my health not pleasure. No one would even know I had it done unless I showed them. Not too drastic when you look at it that way. Everyone has an opinion but the only ones that matter are your doctors and your own! Thankfully most everyone was very supportive of my decision.

The start of it all

" Brca 1 and Brca 2 are human genes that produces tumor suppressor proteins. These proteins help repair damaged DNA and, therefore, play a role in ensuring the stability of the cell's genetic material. When either of these genes is mutated , or altered, such that it's protein product either is not made or or does not function correctly, DNA damage may not be repaired properly. As a result, cell's are more likely to develop additional genetic alterations that can lead to cancer" cancer.org

After my Aunt got her stage 3 ovarian cancer diagnosis our whole family was in shock. We have all been so lucky and blessed with good health that this was really something to take in. After what seems like hell she went through, 10 years later, I am happy to say she is healthy, happy and beautiful! She is a trooper! Through her treatments she also found out she was postive for the Brca gene, which she opted for a prophylactic mastectomy as well. Later my Dad was tested and found he was also a carrier. My Aunt was very vocal about wanting me to get tested but said it would be best waiting until I am done having children. After two healthy, rambunctious boys we were DONE! Like let's go get you snipped husband kind of done! Obviously my Brca test didn't turn out the way I wanted it to or I wouldn't be writing about it! I knew I wanted to take prevenative measure but was on a mission to wait a couple years to do a double mastectomy. Unfortunately, one of my Brca positive friends found out she had stage 2 breast cancer at 29. At that point I said, just take 'em out! It was a little too close to home and really made me realize there is no point to wait. My doctor had told me, "I will be honest, it's usually not IF you're going to get breast/ovarian cancer, it's WHEN you will get it. Again, Take 'em! It could take my risk from up to 60-87% to a 2-5%. Years ago I worked for a plastic surgeon and have seen way too many cases of breast cancer. All of the physical and emotional hardships those women have to battle, it truly is heart wrenching. If I am at a lot higher risk and can prevent that, why wouldn't I? I'm 30 years old and have 2 boys I would do anything to stay around for. Now I know I'm not in the clear for not ever getting cancer anywhere else in my body, but doing this prophylactic mastectomy will at least put my mind to ease. I was fortunate enough to know both of my surgeons prior to this. It's important to feel comfortable with your doctors. It really is an intimate thing. My breast surgeon was one of the most genuine, caring women I have met. She's the best, I absolutely love her! I could not have hand picked a better one if I tried. My plastic surgeon is amazing at what he does. I have seen plenty of his work and literally said "do whatever you think, I trust you completely". He was great! Both were so honest and compassionate. I have heard nothing but great things about them both every time anyone asked who was doing my surgery. I was very lucky! I am hoping this blog will help anyone thinking about doing this or if someone knows anyone with the Brca gene an honest and positive outlook on prevenative surgery. It is one of the most difficult decisions to make but hopefully this can make it easier on at least one person. This is my first blog ever, go easy on me!